IZ interveiw chapter 4
by vesago
Summary: in this chaper we learn the truth of the irken empire from none other then Zim himself and other questions tonite on...IZ INTERVEIW


Kyle: Okay, we're back!

**Round Fourteen **_is from…Invader SiCkNeSs. Again._

_All the Irkens. How many organs do you have?_

Zim: 2 hearts and our one super organ in their torso called a Squeedlyspooch which does everything else first

Dib: What about a brain?

Tak: part organic and our PAKs serve as part of our brains.

_Irkens. How long is your life span?_

Tak: we could live forever but our paks run out in a few decades.

Zim: mine ran out two hundred years back had to keep refilling until I found out they were useless.

_Irkens. Why is your rank appointed by height instead of intelligence?_

Red: Height is more important. Duh.

Dib: Why? That's just dumb.

Zim: Time was, a few centuries back in the rein of tallest Miyuki they were one and the same. Irkens didn't stop growing in life and with a culture so focused on learning to be tall, was to be wise we did not judge solely on height then throw in Tallest Spork's invention of the growth suppressant in our paks decided who can be tall and with it in power. I detonated mine and Tak's because besides impeding growth also emotion and made us willing slaves to the empire.

Kyle: ...wow

_Irkens. What does Irk look like?_

Irkens except Zim: It is a brilliant planet filled with the greatest technology.

Kyle: Zim you didn't say anything?

Zim: It was brilliant in tallest Miyuki's time... Irk used to be called the shining world of the seven systems, the skis are where burnt red with our citadel enclosed in a massive glass dome on the Continent of Wild Endeavour, shining under the black and red suns beyond that the mountains went on forever with slopes of deep red grass caped with snow. too bad it's' all gone now Tallest Foon saw to that level mountains for raw materials, destroy the wildlife and plant life turn the whole planet into one megacity just an empire of cold steel and hate.

Kyle: (Rubs his chin with is hand with a deeply sad look on his face)

_Dib. Why the heck are you so freaking obsessive?_

Dib: I was born with OCD it just got worse when no one believed me about Zim.

_Dib. Do you realize that you pulling out handcuffs in the first episode was what practically invented ZaDr? You eternally doomed yourself, stupid._

[Zim punches Dib in the head]

Zim: It was _you! You're _the reason ZaDr exists!

Dib: WHAT? IT'S NOT _MY _FAULT PEOPLE HAVE DIRTY MINDS!

_Dib. Why do people make you psycho all the time? Are you psycho?_

Dib: First of all, I dunno. And secondly, I'M NOT A PSYCHO!

_Dib. Do you put stuff in your hair to make it like that or is it natural?_

Dib: Um, I put gel in it.

_Gir. Do you have more fangirls than Zim?_

Gir: I LIKE WAFFLES! YOUR HEAD SMELLS LIKE A PUPPY!

Kyle: Did you honestly expect a real answer from Gir? Really?

_Red, do you think you're smarter than Purple?_

Red: Yes.

Purple: Hey!

Red: I'm also better under pressure check backseat drivers from beyond the stars

_Purple, can I have a donut?_

Purple: No.

_Tak. Do you LIKE Dib? Cause you two make a really cute couple._

[Tak and Dib's eyes dart away from each other]

Tak: Maybe…

_Tak, how did you know where to find Zim?_

[Tak rolls her eyes.]

Tak: Irken tech on a level 4 planet. Duh. I could find YOU in no time flat.

_Tak-did you fix Mimi or is she still messed up?_

Tak: I'm proud to say it took no time to fix Mimi.

_Gaz, how many Game Slaves are there by now?_

[Gaz rolls her eyes.]

Gaz: 11. Zim gave me a new one from the future.(in exchange for a date)

_Are you SURE you don't like Zim? You guys are my favorite couple!_

Gaz [Sarcastic.]: Really? Better than Brangelina? What an honor!

Kyle: Just answer it…please?

Gaz: I might like Zim...Tell anyone that and you'll dead. I have my ways of finding you.

_Everyone. What's your theme song?_

Zim: any song I write yes I write music I'm very good on guitar or any song by the Finnish band HIM.

Dib: Aliens exist by blink 182.

Gaz: the sadness will never end by bring me the horizon.

Gir: HI!

Kyle: I'll speak on the behalf of Gir, seeing as he doesn't know what you're talking about. I've Gir at raves so go with techno

Keef: Anything about being friends.

Purple: I dunno

Red: Me either.

Tak: I like chances by athlete

**Round Fifteen **_is from…Galaxina-the-Seedrian!_

_Zim. When are you going to give up on invading Earth?_

Zim: I already did after I learned the truth of my mission I'm not a solder anymore so no reason to concur now I just want a nice life until I am tall enough to be tallest and I will end the war.

(Zim fangirls chanting: Zim, Zim, Zim)

_Dib, why do people call you crazy? _

Dib: I don't know. I've always wondered the same thing…

_Zim and Dib. What do you think of ZaDf? _

[Both cock their heads slightly.]

Dib: ZaDf? I've never heard of that.

Zim: I have heard of ZaDr, that filthy piece of *beep*, but not ZaDf.

Kyle: Zim and Dib friendship.

Dib: Oh. Well, that will never happen. The closer he gets to my sister the closer he gets to an autopsy table

Zim: first I agree we will never be friends and the second thing F#K YOU.

Dib: *beep*

Zim: So I would say we don't like it.

**Round Sixteen **_is from…XxInvaderxKamxX!_

_Keef. Why do you have a rainbow on your shirt? Are gay?_

Keef: Rainbows are pretty, and, no, I'm not gay.

_Also, I hear you support ZaDr._

Keef: Possibly.

_Tak. We've established that you don't like ZaTr (darn…), but what are your thoughts on DaTr?_

[Tak blushes.]

Tak: I may or may not support it.

_Zim. C'MON, MAN! YOU LOVE GAZ! WHY DON'T YOU JUST ADMIT IT?_

Zim: Maybe I like her, maybe I don't. but I do like a girl with a bad side

_Dib. You're cute!_

[Dib blushes.]

Dib: Why, thank you.

_I don't hate you._

Dib: Well, that's good.

_But you have a lot of spaz attacks, like the one in the Fry cook episode. Why is that?_

Dib: It gets me so frustrated that _no one _believes me about Zim that I lose control.

**Round Seventeen **_is from…invader kit. Again._

_Zim, Gaz is ok. I forgive you._

Zim: Forgive me? Forgive me for _what?_

_I'll help you conquer Earth! What are we gonna do?_

Zim: as I said I don't want to conquer the world any more

_Tak, YOU'RE INSANE! DIB SUCKS!_

Tak: He does not!

_And if you don't hug Zim, I'll…_

[Tak growls.]

Tak: You'll do _what? _Correct me if I'm wrong, but you're human and I'm an Irken solider and I can take any one of you in a fight.

_I dunno._

Tak: I thought so.

_Why do you love Dib?_

[Tak blushes.]

Tak: I never said I did.

_Yes Tallest, you are HUGE idiots!_

Red: Say that ONE more time and we'll liquefy your organs.

_Why are you addicted to snacks?_

Red: Because they're good. Moving on.

Kyle: invader kit has one more thing to say.

_SCREW YOU IRKEN LAWS! SCREW YOU TALLESTS!_

**Round Eighteen **_is from…nv8tertak1. Again._

_Zim, can I help you take over the Earth? Please? I'm really helpful!_

Zim: okay since you HU-MANS clearly can't understand I don't want to take the earth I will start talking like a caveman (clears thought) me… no earth king… you retard… me done

_Red and Purple, do you ever work, or do you just ignore your work?_

Red: Depends on whether there's something else better to do or not.

_Tak, what would you say if I told you Dib had your ship?_

Tak: Um, I got it back thanks to Zim so yes I knew Dib had my ship

_Gir, do you love Zim as a friend or family?_

Gir: I LOVES MAH MASTUH! AND MAH PIGGY!

_One more thing. SHAME ON YOU, Tallests! That was mean what you did to Zim_

Red: Come on, now. We never said we were nice.

Purple: Don't you know that nice guys finish last?

Red: And we're not ones for finishing last.

_Tallests, you're lucky I'm not kicking your butts!_

Red: Again, Irkens would beat humans in a fighting match.

**Round Nineteen **_is from…Invader Marco! _

_Tak. Would an apology from Zim make you feel better about the whole ruined-your-life thing?_

Tak: Took more than an apology he did also save my life and got me reinstated with the military, got me my ship back, and got me a home when I came back to earth.

**Round Twenty **_is from…XxInvaderxEllaxX!_

_Gaz. I loved when Zim picked you up in The Wettening, didn't you?_

Gaz: …yes I did

Zim: she looks hot with a wet shirt

(Gaz smacks Zim then grabs him by his collar and kisses him)

(Dib tries to lunge at Zim but gets shot in the foot by Kyle)

_Would you kill me if I called you Gazlene?_

Gaz: Yes, and it's be extremely slow and painful.

_Tak and Gaz. This is a question that really has to be answered: What are your opinions on TaGr (Tak and Gaz Romance.)? Personally, I don't like it._

Gaz: What, I just made out with Zim under 30 seconds ago do you think I'm a lesbian?

Tak: Yeah, and I've got my eye on a guy.

[Tak's gaze flickers to Dib.]

_Zim, you're awesome!_

Dib: No, he's not, dude, and don't lie.

Zim: I know I am.

_What do you think of Earth music?_

Zim: HIM good.

Tak: crap like Justin beeber makes me crap, sweat, piss, and cry blood.

_Name a thing you hate and like about Gaz._

Zim: Like? She hates Dib. I think that's sorta obvious, she is so beautiful in every way shape and form. she's deep, and deeply dark which I find … hot (drawn out)

_Dib. Did you think Tak was attracted to Zim when you first met her?_

Dib: Oh, not at all.

Zim: What's that supposed to mean?

Dib: Well, who _would _be attracted to you?

[Zim's eyes flicker to Gaz.]

Dib: She has better taste in men.

(a Zim fangirl runs up and stabs Dib)

_Your big head is awesome!_

Dib: aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa…

_Gir. What do you think of Mimi?_

Gir: I like cats. Meooooooooow. I LUVS MIMI

Kyle: Seeing as there are no more review (unless you count a comment someone made about reading the guideline as a review!), we'll wrap this up. Peace out, suckers!


End file.
